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First, at the top of the list: SAMHSA Disaster Helpline and similar links.
Next in the list: Bundled “All Day” Events for organizations with events happening at multiple times throughout the day and/or in many formats or locations; these are bundled into a single listing to prevent endless scrolling. Usually these offer a lookup by zip code or other criteria.
Lastly, Time-Specific Events listed by start time from 12:01am early morning to 11:59pm late night. Warmlines and places east of Oregon’s time zone tend to start earlier (e.g. 4am in Oregon is 7am in New York).
Act immediately if you believe your child is missing.
Download this checklist of actions to be taken by families in the initial stages of a missing child case.
If you have any questions call the NCMEC at 1-800-THE-LOST® (1-800-843-5678). If you are not located in the United States, call your country’s hotline.
NCMEC is the nation’s largest and most influential child protection organization.
We lead the fight to protect children, creating vital resources for them and the people who keep them safe.
HOW NCMEC can help
When you call NCMEC, a Call Center specialist will record information about your child. A NCMEC case management team will next work directly with your family and the law enforcement agency investigating your case. They will offer technical assistance tailored to your case to help ensure all available search and recovery methods are used. As appropriate NCMEC case management teams:
Rapidly create and disseminate posters to help generate leads.
Rapidly review, analyze and disseminate leads received on 1-800-THE-LOST® (1-800-843-5678) to the investigating law enforcement agency.
Communicate with federal agencies to provide services to assist in the location and recovery of missing children.
Provide peer support, resources and empowerment from trained volunteers who have experienced a missing child incident in their own family.
Provide families with access to referrals they may use to help process any emotional or counseling needs.
00 – Hotline – NHTH – National Human Trafficking Hotline – 1-888-373-7888 – Confidential – 24/7
@ phone
DoD Safe Helpline is the sole secure, confidential, and anonymous crisis support service specially designed for members of the Department of Defense community affected by sexual assault.
Safe Helpline Serves
Active Duty Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force Reserve component (Army National Guard, Army Reserve, Navy Reserve, Marine Corps Reserve, Air National Guard, Air Force Reserve, and DHS’s Coast Guard Reserve) members and their families.
Telephone Helpline
Need help?
Call 877-995-5247 to be connected with a trained, confidential
Safe Helpline staff member, 24/7.
DSN users can call Safe Helpline by dialing 877-995-5247.
For those unable to call toll-free or DSN, call 202-540-5962.
OCONUS Service members can call the Telephone Helpline for free from
anywhere in the world by using Voice over IP (VoIP) technology from
theSafe Helpline App.
Online Helpline
Need help?
Visitonline.safehelpline.org or download the Safe Helpline app to chat one-on-one with a trained Safe Helpline staff member
through an anonymous, secure instant-messaging format 24/7.
How can the Online Helpline help me?
You can chat one-on-one with a Safe Helpline staff member
to access a range of support services including:
Referrals to both military and civilian resources in your area— sexual assault response coordinators (SARCs)/sexual assault prevention and response victim advocates (SAPR VAs), Chaplain, Legal, Medical/Behavioral health care services, military police, Veterans Crisis Line, local civilian sexual assault service providers, and many others.
Information on military-specific policies, such as reporting options (Restricted and Unrestricted)
The Safe Helpline app is a free mobile resource created to meet the unique needs of members of the Department of Defense community affected by sexual assault. By downloading the app, you can access 24/7 support through Safe Helpline’s Telephone and Online Helplines, get information and resources to help address the short- and long-term effects of sexual assault, as well as practical exercises, to help you manage your self-care. We also recognize that for many survivors stationed outside of the United States (OCONUS) additional limitations may arise when accessing resources, which is why the Safe Helpline app has been designed to give survivors access to a variety of support services and self-care exercises in a free, and convenient way.
How can the Safe Helpline app help me?
We’ve designed the app to give you a way to access any resource within the app directly from the home screen.
Chat: Access one-on-one support through the Online Helpline, 24/7 and chat directly with a Safe Helpline staff member.
Call: Connect directly to a Safe Helpline staff member for one-on-one support through the Telephone Helpline, 24/7. You can choose to make the call using Voice over IP (VoIP) or by using your cellular data. Using VoIP might be a good option for Service members who are OCONUS and may not have access to cellular service in their current location.
Learn: Within this section of the Safe Helpline app, you can access our self-paced educational programs to learn how to address the effects of sexual assault, how to support a survivor and ways Safe Helpline can support you or someone you know. All of these education programs can be completed anonymously by the user. You’ll also be able to access scenarios to give you tangible ways to step-in and support others.
Self-Care: The app allows you to easily create and use a customized self-care plan with specially designed self-care exercises. Once downloaded, you can come back to view your plan and exercises at any time, even without an Internet connection.
How do the self-care plans work?
The self-care plan is created by answering a series of six questions designed to help you focus and identify how you are feeling at that moment. Questions are answered on a sliding scale of zero (never) to five (always), and the app will recommend different exercises based on your responses. There are no “good” or “bad” answers to these questions, and responses can vary from day to day, depending on how you are feeling.
Once you’ve answered the questions on the plan, the app will suggest self-care exercises. The exercises include:
Guided breathing
Guided muscle relaxation
Imagining yourself at the beach
Focusing on the present
Soothing sounds, such as sounds of the forest and sounds of rain falling
We recognize the importance of keeping your information safe, so we’ve also set up a security feature that allows you to lock your self-care plans behind a privacy wall using a 6-digit pin of your choosing.
Journaling:
The Safe Helpline app allows you to journal directly in the app with weekly prompts. Taking some time out of your week to journal can give you a moment for reflection and an opportunity for self-care. You can also choose to skip any prompts or just write freely depending on how you are feeling. Some of the questions include:
When do you feel the most energized?
What do you want to let go of this week?
What are three things that you would do if you weren’t afraid?
Like the self-care plans, the journal entries you save are protected by a privacy wall and will allow you to lock your information behind a 6-digit pin of your choosing. You can also access and refer back to your journal without an Internet connection.
Coloring Book:
Sometimes focusing on a mindless activity can help you process difficult emotions and be grounded in the present. To help with this, another self-care activity available on the app is a collection of six designs, ranging from easy to difficult, that allow you to paint or color your own works of art.
How is the Safe Helpline app secure, and is activity on the app traceable by third parties?
As with all Safe Helpline services, your privacy is of utmost importance, and the technology behind the Safe Helpline app was created by RAINN to protect your safety and anonymity by ensuring that no personally identifiable information (PII) is collected.
The following precautions have been implemented to protect your privacy when using the app:
The app does not require an email address or any of your contact information when it is initially downloaded.
You have the ability to set up a pin code to protect the information you record in the self-care plans, the journal, and completed coloring book designs.
No information on how you use the app is ever collected or shared by Safe Helpline. This includes how often you use the app, who uses the app, or where you use the app.
If you are concerned that someone may be able to access the app, you can delete all journal entries, self-care plans, and completed coloring books by simply deleting the app.
While Safe Helpline has taken the steps outlined above to help increase the safety and anonymity of Safe Helpline app users, please remember that if you are using the app on a DoD or other work-related device, your employer may be able to track your usage of this app. In addition, similarly to a paper journal, Safe Helpline app journal entries may be admissible during court proceedings.
REPORT RETALIATION
Military Feedback Form
RESOURCE LINKS
For Responders
For Leadership
For Supporters of Survivors
For Service Members Leaving the Military
For Survivors
04 – Resources – AKBAC – A Kids Book About – School Shootings – Free
Many of us are going to need to find the words to talk to the kids in our lives about tragic events like the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Here’s a free resource from A Kids Company About to help you do that was written by Crystal Woodman-Miller, one of the survivors of the Columbine school shooting.
I hate that we need tools like this. I can’t wait for us to have to write the book “A Kids Book About Why It’s So Hard To Buy A Gun”
There aren’t enough words to explain all the thoughts, emotions, and heartbreak that comes with yesterday’s tragedy in Uvalde. We hope this book helps everyone start somewhere.
We’re making #AKidsBookAboutSchoolShootings free for kids, grownups, and educators everywhere, so that this conversation can get started when it matters most.
FREE DOWNLOAD
A Kids Book About School Shootings by Crystal Woodman Miller:
Resources for Families and Children Facing Tragic Events
Racial Stress – Racism – Hate Crimes
Helpful Resources to Address the Mass Shooting in Uvalde, Texas
Many thanks to Michelle Zabel, MSS, Assistant Dean, and Director, The Institute for Innovation and Implementation, for compiling this list of resources in response to the horrific mass shooting in Texas earlier this week.
Helping Young People Cope With Mental Health Challenges
Vox Media’s NowThis is linking arms with Ken Burns and PBS to share an upcoming documentary titled “Hiding in Plain Sight: Youth Mental Illness.” Scenes from the forthcoming film will be shared across NowThis social platforms throughout Mental Health Awareness Month in May. NowThis will host a live TikTok conversation about the topic, as well. The goal, Burns said, is “to get this material out to young people around the country.” The film itself will debut at the end of June on PBS.
Uplift by Youth Era: Teaching Youth Peer Support Skills
More than 500 youth signed up for the most recent Uplift event! Studied by the University of Oxford and co-designed with young adults, Uplift by Youth Era is the future of peer support. Empower a young person in your life to be who they need, and apply to join the next Uplift training in June!
Randolph “Randy” Muck September 14, 1955 to April 21, 2021 in Memoriam
On the first anniversary of his death, several of us who knew and worked with Randy write this tribute to remember and honor his impact on so many people. Randy provided much-needed leadership from within the federal government to develop and disseminate evidence-based substance use treatments designed for adolescents and their families. He was successful because he had a rare ability to connect with all the groups important to improving adolescent treatment: provider organizations, schools, juvenile justice, counselors, federal agency decision-makers, researchers, private foundations, and most importantly—adolescents and their families. He saw how these groups could align their different interests and collaborate. This, in turn, helped youth, families, and systems of care in ways that continue to have an impact.
HHS Awards Nearly $25 Million to Expand Access to School-Based Health Services The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), through the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA), recently announced nearly $25 million will be made available to improve and strengthen access to school-based health services in communities across the country. Awards will support local partnerships between schools and health centers to provide children and youth with the comprehensive physical and mental health care they need.
Investing in Prevention Makes Good Financial Sense Primary prevention—including screening and intervention before negative health outcomes occur—is relatively inexpensive. The higher-risk behaviors it is designed to reduce are so costly to the healthcare system that it is staggeringly wasteful not to make sure that screening and treatment referrals are readily implemented and faithfully reimbursed by insurers and that interventions are convenient for parents and their children.
PAX Good Behavior Game Speaking of prevention…
The PAX Good Behavior Game is an evidence-based universal preventive intervention applied by teachers in the classroom. This evidence-based practice consists of research-based strategies with origins in behavioral science, neuroscience, and cultural wisdom that operate together to improve children’s self-regulation. Teachers implement these strategies as part of their daily routines in carrying out tasks such as getting students’ attention, selecting students for tasks, transitioning from one task to the next, working as part of a team, limiting problematic behavior, and reinforcing pro-social behavior.
HHS Launches New Maternal Mental Health Hotline
The Maternal Mental Health Hotline is a new, confidential, toll-free hotline for expecting and new moms experiencing mental health challenges. Those who contact the hotline can receive a range of support, including brief interventions from trained culturally and trauma-informed counselors and referrals to both community-based and telehealth providers as needed. Callers also will receive evidence-based information and referrals to support groups and other community resources.
Six Things You Need To Know About Music and Health A growing body of research suggests that listening to or performing music affects the brain in ways that may help promote health and manage disease symptoms. More justification for the plethora of music videos posted in Friday Update!
Going Digital: Behavioral Health Tech Aaahhhh!!! Less than 20 days!!! Well? Have you registered for the 2022 Going Digital: Behavioral Health Tech summit on June 8-9th yet? Can’t make it? Wondering if you can access all of the sessions with our hundreds of speakers after June 8-9th? YES, but ONLY if you register in advance. So, you should probably get on that.
Building a More Equitable Juvenile Justice System for Everyone Racial inequities regarding the policing of children, and the subsequent disparities in their treatment within the juvenile justice system, have been problems in this country for far too long. It is encouraging that many states and counties are not only recognizing these issues but are taking action. The CSG Justice Center is committed to providing research-driven, data-informed solutions to our partners to continue building safer and stronger communities for everyone, especially our youth.
Disruptions to School and Home Life Among High School Students During the COVID-19 Pandemic — Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey, United States, January–June 2021 Young people have experienced disruptions to school and home life since the COVID-19 pandemic began in March 2020. From January to June 2021, CDC conducted the Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey (ABES), an online survey of a probability-based, nationally representative sample of U.S. public- and private-school students in grades 9–12. ABES data were used to estimate the prevalence of disruptions and adverse experiences during the pandemic, including parental and personal job loss, homelessness, hunger, emotional or physical abuse by a parent or other adult at home, receipt of telemedicine, and difficulty completing schoolwork. Prevalence estimates are presented for all students by sex, race and ethnicity, grade, sexual identity, and difficulty completing schoolwork.
CDC Survey Finds the Pandemic Had a Big Impact on Teens’ Mental Health According to a survey published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than four in 10 teens report feeling “persistently sad or hopeless” during the COVID-19 pandemic. Girls were twice as likely to experience mental health troubles compared to boys. And LGBTQ students were hit the hardest. The CDC’s findings were gathered from online surveys from a sample of 7,700 US students during the first six months of 2021.
New Initiative to Define Policy Recommendations for Embedding Equity into 988 The Kennedy-Satcher Center for Mental Health Equity & Beacon Health Options are joining forces to create and develop an equitable crisis response for the future of behavioral health service delivery ahead of the July 2022 launch of 988.
State Policymakers Can Support Equitable School-based Telemental Health Services This brief presents five ways state policymakers can support equitable school-based telemental health services, with recommendations based on relevant policy context, existing research, and—in some cases—feedback from interviews with five TMH providers who testified to on-the-ground experience with these interventions.
In times of community or world-wide crisis, it’s easy to assume that young children don’t know what’s going on. But one thing’s for sure — children are very sensitive to how their parents feel. They’re keenly aware of the expressions on their parents’ faces and the tone of their voices. Children can sense when their parents are really worried, whether they’re watching the news or talking about it with others. No matter what children know about a “crisis,” it’s especially scary for children to realize that their parents are scared.
Some Scary, Confusing Images
The way that news is presented on television can be quite confusing for a young child. The same video segment may be shown over and over again through the day, as if each showing was a different event. Someone who has died turns up alive and then dies again and again. Children often become very anxious since they don’t understand much about videotape replays, closeups, and camera angles. Any televised danger seems close to home to them because the tragic scenes are taking place on the TV set in their own living room. Children can’t tell the difference between what’s close and what’s far away, what’s real and what’s pretend, or what’s new and what’s re-run.
The younger the children are, the more likely they are to be interested in scenes of close-up faces, particularly if the people are expressing some strong feelings. When there’s tragic news, the images on TV are most often much too graphic and disturbing for young children.
“Who will take care of me?”
In times of crisis, children want to know, “Who will take care of me?” They’re dependent on adults for their survival and security. They’re naturally self-centered. They need to hear very clearly that their parents are doing all they can to take care of them and to keep them safe. They also need to hear that people in the government and other grown-ups they don’t even know are working hard to keep them safe, too.
Helping Children Feel More Secure
Play is one of the important ways young children have of dealing with their concerns. Of course, playing about violent news can be scary and sometimes unsafe, so adults need to be nearby to help redirect that kind of play into nurturing themes, such as a hospital for the wounded or a pretend meal for emergency workers.
When children are scared and anxious, they might become more dependent, clingy, and afraid to go to bed at night. Whining, aggressive behavior, or toilet “accidents” may be their way of asking for more comfort from the important adults in their lives. Little by little, as the adults around them become more confident, hopeful and secure, our children probably will, too.
Turn Off the TV
When there’s something tragic in the news, many parents get concerned about what and how to tell their children. It’s even harder than usual if we’re struggling with our own powerful feelings about what has happened. Adults are sometimes surprised that their own reactions to a televised crisis are so strong, but great loss and devastation in the news often reawaken our own earlier losses and fears – even some we think we might have “forgotten”
It’s easy to allow ourselves to get drawn into watching televised news of a crisis for hours and hours; however, exposing ourselves to so many tragedies can make us feel hopeless, insecure, and even depressed. We help our children and ourselves if we’re able to limit our own television viewing. Our children need us to spend time with them – away from the frightening images on the screen.
Talking and Listening
Even if we wanted to, it would be impossible to give our children all the reasons for such things as war, terrorists, abuse, murders, major fires, hurricanes, and earthquakes. If they ask questions, our best answer may be to ask them, “What do you think happened?” If the answer is “I don’t know,” then the simplest reply might be something like, “I’m sad about the news, and I’m worried. But I love you, and I’m here to care for you.”
If we don’t let children know it’s okay to feel sad and scared, they may think something is wrong with them when they do feel that way. They certainly don’t need to hear all the details of what’s making us sad or scared, but if we can help them accept their own feelings as natural and normal, their feelings will be much more manageable for them.
Angry feelings are part of being human, especially when we feel powerless. One of the most important messages we can give our children is, “It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hurt ourselves or others.” Besides giving children the right to their anger, we can help them find constructive things to do with their feelings. This way, we’ll be giving them useful tools that will serve them all their life, and help them to become the worlds’ future peacemakers — the world’s future “helpers.”
Helpful Hints
Do your best to keep the television off, or at least limit how much your child sees of any news event.
Try to keep yourself calm. Your presence can help your child feel more secure.
Give your child extra comfort and physical affection, like hugs or snuggling up together with a favorite book. Physical comfort goes a long way towards providing inner security. That closeness can nourish you, too.
Try to keep regular routines as normal as possible. Children and adults count on their familiar pattern of everyday life.
Plan something that you and your child enjoy doing together, like taking a walk, going on a picnic, having some quiet time, or doing something silly. It can help to know there are simple things in life that can help us feel better, in good times and in bad.
Even if children don’t mention what they’ve seen or heard in the news, it can help to ask what they think has happened. If parents don’t bring up the subject, children can be left with their misinterpretations. You may be really surprised at how much your child has heard from others.
Focus attention on the helpers, like the police, firemen, doctors, nurses, paramedics, and volunteers. It’s reassuring to know there are many caring people who are doing all they can to help others in this world.
Let your child know if you’re making a donation, going to a town meeting, writing a letter or e-mail of support, or taking some other action. It can help children to know that adults take many different active roles and that we don’t give in to helplessness in times of worldwide crisis.
What do we tell our children?
How do we reassure them of their own safety?
At The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon, we’ve provided grief support groups for children, teens, young adults and their parents or adult caregivers since 1982.
Based on our experience, here are some things for adults to keep in mind as you struggle with how to talk with children following tragic events, such as natural disasters, plane crashes, or school shootings.
1. Don’t project your fears onto your children. They take their cues from the adults around them.
You can’t hear the news about children being murdered or communities devastated by natural disasters without thinking about how you’d feel if it happened to your family, friends, or hometown. The outpouring of care and empathy for the families who lost loved ones will be powerful, and…we all know it could have been our friends, our child, our family and community members who died or were injured.
Identifying with the senselessness and randomness makes us all feel more vulnerable. But we should remember that children don’t always see things the same way that adults do, and it won’t be helpful to them for us to fall apart. They need to see that we care, that we feel terrible about this tragedy, and that we will do everything we can to keep them safe. They will take their cues from our behavior.
It’s okay to show emotion. We can model for children that feeling sad, scared, and upset is normal after tragedies. But we don’t want to overwhelm them with our emotions, or put them in the position of having to ‘parent,’ or take care of, the adults around them. Make sure you also model taking care of yourself, by sharing with trusted and supportive adult friends, eating (and drinking) healthfully.
2. Try to limit their access to the recurring news and exposure to the tragedy over and over.
Over-exposure to the graphic and emotional news can be overwhelming for children and can cause unnecessary anxiety and fear. Some children who repeatedly watched the footage of planes crashing into the towers on 9/11 thought it was happening again and again. Some children (and some adults) may have difficulty getting graphic scenes and images out of their minds. Too much exposure can fuel their fear, so don’t let them sit and watch the news over and over. Better yet, set the example of not doing so yourself as well.
3. Understand that you can’t completely shield them from what happened.
It would be next to impossible to hide these events from children, as much as we wish we could. You might be able to shield your own child in your home, for example, by not turning on (or owning) a television, but you can’t protect your children from hearing about it from other kids. The fact is, they will hear about it, so although they don’t “need” to know about it, pretending we can shield them is magical thinking.
That said, you don’t need to give them more information than they can handle, or more than they’re asking for. A simple, “Did they talk about what happened in _____ today at school?” would be a good starter. They need to know that you’re not trying to hide the truth from them, that you’re open to talking about it, but that you’re also not forcing them to do so.
4. Model truth-telling and build trust with your children by letting them hear things, even hard things, from you directly.
Eight days after the 9/11 attacks, I was meeting in small groups with pre-school workers in New York City, talking about how to respond to the young children in their care about the events. A man asked to speak to me privately after one of the trainings, and asked for my advice around his 7-year-old daughter. For the last week, since September 12th, she had been having stomach aches and difficulty sleeping. He said it was not tied to the events of 9/11 because, “We don’t have a television.” As his story unfolded it was evident that he did not want to have to explain to his child why people would do such horrible things, a normal dilemma that we face as parents and adults. This child was experiencing physical reactions, as it turned out, not primarily because of her reaction to the events of 9/11, but because she was unable to share her fears and concerns and questions in her own home, faced with her parents’ denial.
Here are some principles to keep in mind as you talk with children:
1. There is no one typical reaction one can or should expect from children.
Their responses will vary all over the ‘emotional’ map, from seeming disinterest to nightmares, eating issues, and anxiety. How any specific child will respond will depend on their age, previous experience with death and loss, and their personality style. Fearful children will tend to worry; quiet children may keep their feelings to themselves; those who want to appear unfazed may exhibit a sense of bravado or lack of caring. Of course, children directly affected – those who had a family member die; those who witnessed the tragedy; those who had friends die – will tend to have longer-term reactions and needs. Watch for changes in behavior, or concerning trends. While it would be normal to have heightened anxiety and sleeplessness, any concerning behavior or troubling symptoms should be taken seriously, and if warranted, professional help sought.
2. Many children will have an increased sense of fear about their safety.
Understandably. So will many adults. After a shooting at an Oregon mall in December 2012, the news outlets were filled with people who said they’d never take their children there again. Others said they’d return as soon as it opened in order to support the stores and employees who had experienced the traumatic events, and whose livelihoods were going to suffer as a result of the several day closure. Some runners in the Boston Marathon vowed to return; others said they would never do so again.
While we can’t guarantee to our children that nothing bad will ever happen to them, we can provide assurance that these events are relatively rare, and that we will do everything we can to keep them safe. Children may have many questions about the events, particularly about natural disasters. Answer their questions with language that fits their developmental stage. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer to a question. If it’s a question that might have an answer, offer to look up more information. You can also ask children what they think the answer is as they often have thoughts and ideas they want to share with you. In the case of natural disasters, if your child is fearful of something like that happening in your community, talk with them about the safety plan that you have in place for your family and home. You can also look into what community safety measures are in place and whatever elements are relevant with your children. Many children will be reassured knowing that there are specific, tangible things they and your family can do if something occurs. Some examples include, picking a meeting place, keeping flashlights in every bedroom, talking about where you will keep emergency water and food.
3. Children want, need, and deserve the truth.
In over 30 years of providing grief support to thousands of children and teens at The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, we have never heard a child say, “I’m glad I was lied to.” Many, however, struggle with anger and lack of trust toward parents or other adults who lied to them. When we don’t tell the truth, they learn that we cannot be trusted. As difficult as it can be at times, and as horrendous as the truth may be, children want, need, and deserve the truth. Being able to talk openly and honestly with your children about tragic events and other losses, creates a foundation of trust, enabling them to come to you in the future with their questions, fears, and concerns.
How race-related stress affects you and your relationship with your child
What effect does racism have on your health and well-being?
Not only does racism impact you as a parent, it can also impact how you interact with your children. Experiences of racism build on each other and can chip away at your emotional, physical and spiritual resources as a parent, contributing to race-related stress. Race-related stress can make it hard to have the space needed to take care of yourself as a parent, which reduces the emotional space you need to adequately take care of your children.
Physical Effects
Physical Effects can include increased hypertension, illness and risky behaviors such as substance use.
Emotional Effects
Emotional effects can include depression, anxiety, anger, irritability and aggression.
Spiritual Effects
Spiritual effects can include a decreased sense of purpose, lack of connection with the larger community, isolation from larger social groups and reduced involvement in communal activities that you enjoy.
Potential reactions to racial stress or trauma
Insecure Feelings
Feelings of shame and lack of confidence due to feeling that a situation cannot be changed.
Lack of Trust
Feeling detached or a lack of trust for others due to experiencing multiple losses or letdowns. This can make it very difficult to seek out help and to identify potential safe sources of support.
Triggers
Reminders of the event, such as particular people or situations, can also trigger strong emotional or physical responses (e.g., crying or rapid heartbeat).
Difficulty Controlling Emotions
Difficulty controlling emotional responses (going from “zero to one hundred”) can occur as the body helps you adapt to potentially unsafe situations, making you feel constantly on “alert.”
The body’s response to the experience of racism can make accessing resources to cope with the situation difficult. Race-related stress is unique in that it threatens psychological resources that are needed to cope and fulfill basic needs such as financial support, housing, access to jobs, etc.
When your body is in stress mode, it is geared up to help you and your child survive, which sometimes leads to impulsive decisions. If you live in a chronic state of stress related to racism, you can start to engage in survival coping. Survival coping can help you to deal with very hard or potentially life-threatening situations. However, if you continue to exist in this mode long-term, it can make it difficult to enjoy being in the moment with your child and can reduce your ability to feel safe and in control.
What impact can racial stress have on your parenting?
Experiencing race-related stress can also impact the quality of parenting relationships in the following ways:
Impostor syndrome
When you are exposed to racism repeatedly, you often start doubting yourself and can feel like you are an imposter in dominant culture settings or in settings where you feel as though you do not belong. Your inner thoughts might sound something like: “Am I being judged?” “Am I worthy?” “I got lucky.” “I only got this because I am Black.”
Being overly alert (hypervigilance)
Experiencing racial stress can make you more aware of potential dangers and negative experiences that can occur. This, in turn, can make the experience of parenting even more stressful. When you interact with your children, you can sometimes be reminded of negative race-related experiences that you had when you were a child. This reminder can amp up emotional responses, or hyperarousal, making it hard for you to “keep your cool” and be open to flexible problem solving.
“Helicopter parenting” (monitoring in fear)
These experiences of racism and unwarranted blame or lack of acceptance can make you want to protect your children so much, that you don’t allow them to explore in the way that they need to. You may shelter them from failures, which everyone needs to experience in order to learn how to manage everyday life. You may tend to be overly cautious or suspicious. Examples can include not allowing your children to have sleepovers or go to the park, even with your supervision.
Difficulty regulating emotions
When your past influences your emotional state, it can affect your emotional responses to both big and minor stressors with children, such as when they misbehave. This, in turn, can lead to being overprotective or overuse of physical discipline, as a means of survival.
For children, having parents who can keep perspective (stay cool) when children are upset, or misbehaving is very important. Likewise, it is important to stay calm when disciplining a child, otherwise discipline may go overboard. Both of these things can be hard if you are having difficulty controlling your emotions.
Avoidance
Avoiding situations that are related to racism can be a needed strategy to survive; such as instances that may involve violence or threat to yourself or your family. Sometimes you may avoid reminders of past experiences due to the pain or discomfort they cause.
If you find yourself avoiding strong feelings or situations with your child that bring up painful memories, it may make it hard to show affection and support for your child. It may even make it difficult to know how to provide emotional support for your child during times of stress. For instance, if your child brings up their own experience of oppression or an event in their life reminds you of something from your own childhood.
Mistrusting others
Racism can lead to distrust or mistrust of other communities. Internalized racism is when you begin to accept negative messages about your own abilities and inherent worth by the dominant group in society.
When you use society’s norms to judge yourself, you can feel depressed, unworthy and just not good enough. You are taught in many ways to take these feelings and paint them onto another group.
Intra and interracial violence, contention among disenfranchised communities or color, and the way the media conveys information about people of color, contribute to this.
This kind of coping can make you more vulnerable to racism, because on some level you may believe in racial hierarchy and difference when you belittle other groups. And when you show your children that it is right to discriminate against certain other groups, you make them more vulnerable to discrimination that they face.
Minimizing racism
Racism is overwhelming, as is the history of violence. You are sometimes taught that accepting this and minimizing racism is the only thing you can do. But when you ignore racism, and accept powerlessness, you encourage your kids to internalize racism. This can lead to increased levels of depression, anxiety and externalizing behaviors (e.g., engaging in risky behaviors, such as alcohol or substance use).
When you believe that you should be able to handle and manage it all without a break or without asking for help, you are at increased risk for health problems and can miss important cues about your well-being and safety.
Self-blame
Experiencing chronically unfair and dangerous discriminatory practices due to race can lead to feelings of low worth. For parents, this can also lead to a questioning of your parenting choices and abilities.
Unbalanced Racial and Ethnic Socialization (RES)
Unbalanced messaging or communication about race and ethnicity occurs when you only promote messages of mistrust, preparation for bias, or only give racial pride messages to your children.
Strategies to deal with racial stress and practice self-care.
So, what can you do to mitigate racial stress?
As parents, it is important to develop positive identities and share your cultural identities with your children. Positive cultural identity and advocacy are protective factors against racism, which can help to reduce and prevent racial stress.
There are many other ways to cope with stress and everyone has different preferences. Reducing stress can also allow you to model healthy coping strategies for your child. Here are some suggestions you can try.
Build or access a support network
Incorporate traditions at home
Get some exercise
Deep breathing
Journal
Limit your media intake
Counseling/therapy
Spirituality
Podcast
You are not the only person dealing with race-related stress and connecting with other people with similar experiences and feelings can help you to successfully navigate racism.
Talk with family and trusted friends specifically about racialized events that have occurred and how to handle them
Start or join a group with others who may have had similar experiences and similar interests, like a book club that reads books by Black authors, or spend time with other African American parents who have the same concerns you do about how your children are treated at the school.
Seek out activities that you can do with your friends or family (e.g., exercising, cooking, watching a family show or movie together, etc.)
Legislation
Much of the debate today is around gun control. Below are links to two bills currently pending in Congress.
OPEC has a new website! Visit health.oregonstate.edu/opec for the most update OPEC information. ORParenting.org will be phased out by the end of 2022.
OPEC HUBS IN OREGON
About OPEC Hubs
The Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative (OPEC) supports a statewide network of parenting “Hubs.” As part of their role, OPEC Hubs:
Provide infrastructure to support parenting education efforts across their region, serving as a “go-to” place for families and community partners related to parenting resources and programs, support professional development opportunities for parenting education professionals, and collect data
Foster community collaboration to coordinate parenting programs across community partners, build relationships between cross-sector partners, and leverage available resources in support of families
Expand access to and normalize parenting education programs through a combination of direct service and mini-grants to partner organizations to meet the needs of all families in their communities. OPEC Hubs support a blend of universal and targeted parenting programs that are evidence-/research-based and culturally-responsive
The OPEC Logic Model illustrates the strategies, outputs, and outcomes of this work.
Ready to get connected? Your local OPEC Hub can connect you with in-person and remote parenting classes, workshops, resources, and family events in your community.
Many who come to Al-Anon/Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless, unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help.
In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their own experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.
Al-Anon can help you:
Hear others’ experiences
Find healthier ways to respond to the addicted person
Understand your own role in addiction and recovery
Learn the importance of supporting your loved one
Focus on today using the “one step at a time” approach
Al-Anon is not for people trying to find their own recovery. It is only for the people who love and care for them.
ALZConnected – Online Support Groups and Community – Daily
ALZConnected® (alzconnected.org), powered by the Alzheimer’s Association®, is a free online community for everyone affected by Alzheimer’s or another dementia, including:
People with the disease.
Caregivers.
Family members.
Friends.
Individuals who have lost someone to Alzheimer’s.
Support groups will be hosted via phone or video conference instead of in-person. Meeting schedules will be assessed on a month-to-month basis.
The Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline (800.272.3900) is available around the clock, 365 days a year. Through this free service, specialists and master’s-level clinicians offer confidential support and information to people living with the disease, caregivers, families and the public.
For Live Help Line Chat Click on the Link Below
MORE PROGRAMS AND SUPPORT GROUPS
The Alzheimer’s Association is here for you, day and night. Our programs and support services connect you with peers and professionals to help you make the plans and adjustments necessary to live your best life for as long as possible. Use these links to learn more about our offerings:
Our Vision: A world without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia®.
Our Mission: The Alzheimer’s Association leads the way to end Alzheimer’s and all other dementia — by accelerating global research, driving risk reduction and early detection, and maximizing quality care and support.
Care and Support
We work on a national and local level to provide care and support for all those affected by Alzheimer’s and other dementias.
Research
As the largest nonprofit funder of Alzheimer’s research, the Association is committed to advancing vital research toward methods of treatment, prevention and, ultimately, a cure.
Advocacy
The Association is the leading voice for Alzheimer’s disease advocacy, fighting for critical Alzheimer’s research and care initiatives at the state and federal level.
As of April 19, 2021, all Oregonians over 16 are now eligible to receive a COVID-19 vaccine.
**This is a big day for the state. Many thanks to the folks on the front lines who are running vaccination sites and working so hard to get as many people as possible vaccinated.
See below for information on getting scheduled for a vaccine.
Accelerated Access to COVID-19 Vaccinations
Scheduling a Vaccination
The Oregon Health Authority (OHA) has created several resources to assist individuals in planning for their COVID-19 vaccination:
All COVID-19 vaccine sites are dependent upon the availability of vaccine supply, which is determined by many factors, including supply at the national level and allocation at the federal and state levels.
Appointments are required.
Multnomah County maintains the COVID-19 Vaccine page which includes information options for scheduling a vaccination and resources for individuals who may need assistance scheduling an appointment due to language or barriers with technology.
Are you or a family member having difficulty seeing? Or perhaps been diagnosed with an eye condition such as macular degeneration, cataracts, glaucoma, or diabetic retinopathy? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone: vision problems affect 25 million Americans, and they are on the rise.
VisionAware is a free, easy-to-use informational service for adults who are blind or have low vision, their families, caregivers, healthcare providers, and social service professionals. Visitors will find tips and resources on living with blindness or low vision; information on eye diseases and disorders; and a searchable, free Directory of Services.
Eye Conditions
Some changes in vision are normal as we grow older. This section of our website can help you understand these vision changes, alert you to abnormal changes in vision, and […]
From crafts, woodworking, traveling, and reading to sports and exercise, this section is full of information on the variety of activities people who are blind or low vision can engage […]
Discover low and high-tech solutions enabling independence at home and work, connection with friends and family, and enjoyment of hobbies and leisure activities.
Find resources and techniques you can use to serve people who are blind or low vision effectively and safely, and learn key information about the impact of aging and vision […]
Do you know someone (parent or family member, neighbor, or friend) having trouble seeing? You may be wondering about blindness/ low vision and how to talk with them about it. […]
If you are new to blindness or low vision, take the journey one day and one step at a time. Utilize our tips for adjusting to vision changes, living independently, […]
If you cannot find respite through the resources listed above, we also maintain the National Respite Locator Service (NRLS), which helps parents, family caregivers, and professionals find respite services in their state and local area to match their specific needs. The NRLS lists primarily home care agencies, assisted living, or state or community-based agencies that provide respite care. If you find that a listing is out of date or no longer providing respite care, please contact ARCH.
If you have a respite program or service you would like to list on the NRLS, please visit the respite provider portal.
State Respite Coalition or Lifespan Respite Program
If your state has a State Respite Coalition or Lifespan Respite Care Program, be sure to contact them first for information about respite providers or ways to pay for respite.
The Ultimate List of Support Groups for Black Moms
Brown Mamas – Pittsburgh & U.S. – Brown Mamas, Inc. has been around for seven years in the Pittsburgh region. Brown Mamas began in the living room of Muffy Mendoza. What started as 5 moms has grown to over 4000 Our mamas love our Pittsburgh chapter so much that we are expanding. If you are mom who is ready to not just find her tribe, but to inspire other mothers and be the change she wants to see in her community, click here to learn more about starting your own Brown Mamas chapter.
Computer Gaming Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of people who support each other in recovering from the problems resulting from excessive game playing. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop video gaming, which is completely up to you. CGAA has no dues or fees. Our groups share their collective experience and the principles that helped them, but CGAA has no experts, hierarchy, or required beliefs. We have etiquette and traditions, but no strict rules.
If you are struggling with compulsive gaming, leave your contact info at 970-364-3497 and a CGAA member will call you back
One tap mobile +13017158592,,83671786251# US (Washington DC) +13126266799,,83671786251# US (Chicago)
Dial by your location +1 301 715 8592 US (Washington DC) +1 312 626 6799 US (Chicago) +1 646 558 8656 US (New York) +1 253 215 8782 US (Tacoma) +1 346 248 7799 US (Houston) +1 669 900 9128 US (San Jose) Meeting ID: 826 013 5782 Find your local number: https://us02web.zoom.us/u/k0jt3FGFs
ZOOM MEETING
All family and friends of compulsive gamers welcome
One tap mobile +13017158592,,83671786251# US (Washington DC) +13126266799,,83671786251# US (Chicago)
Dial by your location +1 301 715 8592 US (Washington DC) +1 312 626 6799 US (Chicago) +1 646 558 8656 US (New York) +1 253 215 8782 US (Tacoma) +1 346 248 7799 US (Houston) +1 669 900 9128 US (San Jose) Meeting ID: 826 013 5782 Find your local number: https://us02web.zoom.us/u/k0jt3FGFs
Gamers Find A Local Support Group
Use the link below to get more information about local groups and a notification when a local meeting is started. Due to the COVID pandemic, most meetings are currently held in an outdoor setting or online.
Video gaming is a common pastime. To many people, it is surprising that it can become a serious addiction, that is, an activity that is engaged in compulsively, without control or concern for consequences.
Video gaming addiction is a very serious problem that is harmful to everyone it touches. Since everyone involved suffers from it, everyone involved needs some help. Here are some important things to know.
First, no one is responsible for someone else’s compulsive gaming. As the Al-Anon slogan goes, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.”
You didn’t cause it.
Some people partly blame themselves for the dysfunctional behavior of their family members, particularly with addicts who are very quick to shift responsibility off themselves and blame others. Perhaps you played games with your loved one, purchased games, or encouraged it, thinking it was a harmless leisure activity. Maybe you’ve been involved in some conflict and wonder if that has driven him or her to hide away in gaming. But no one is responsible for another person’s behavior or mental disorders.
You can’t control it.
You may have already tried to talk to your friend or family member. Perhaps you have bargained with them, or given ultimatums. You have tried to help them see what damage they are doing to themselves and others. And none of it has worked. This is baffling to you. Why don’t they seem to understand or care? Why can’t they see what is obvious to you? This is actually a symptom of the disease of addiction, one that destines efforts for control to failure.
You can’t cure it.
We all would like to believe that we have the ability to help those we love. We often think that if we can just get the right information, figure out the right thing to say or do, perhaps change something about ourselves, we can fix the problem. People should be able to solve their own problems. Why can’t we do that with this one? There is a simple reason. There is no cure for addiction. It requires treatment. The recovery process is long and difficult. And there is only one person who can start that process, the one who is gaming compulsively. There are things you can do. Here are some suggestions that you may want to consider, that other family members and friends have found helpful.
Get information.
The literature of recovery fellowships for family and friends of addicts (such as Al-Anon) has much helpful guidance, some of which is available online as well. There are people who have been in situations very similar to yours, who have learned much from them, and who are willing to share the lessons learned, their experience, strength and hope. We hope you avail yourself of such resources.
Detach with love.
Putting energy into arguing with someone who is playing compulsively will not help either of you. Your loved one has a serious problem that you are powerless to control or cure, and that they will not get help until they want it. As much as you love someone, you cannot force this process on another person.
Stop enabling.
Paradoxically, at the same time people are arguing with, bargaining with or shaming a compulsive gamer, they are often (perhaps without realizing it) supporting the addiction in many ways. Anything that shields an addict from the consequences of his or her behavior is enabling, and can include such basic things as providing food, shelter, money, companionship, housekeeping, and covering for employment and legal difficulties. Helping a compulsive gamer keep up an appearance of normalcy is helping him or her continue in the destructive behavior. While you cannot change him or her, you can make changes for yourself. You can shift your energy away from enabling behaviors and toward meeting your own needs.
Take care of yourself.
Whether or not your loved one ever stops gaming, you deserve to have a healthy and happy life. Once you have accepted that you are powerless over their gaming behavior, you can begin to focus on what you can do for yourself, to accomplish your own goals. With the help of others who have been where you are, you can learn to set healthy boundaries and stick to them.
Join our WhatsApp Chat Site for Family and Friends!
One of the things we were trying to do with our gaming was meet some basic needs. If we do not meet those needs in normal healthy ways, we will suffer much stronger urges to game again. Some basic needs to cover are social needs, self expression, creativity, a sense of challenge and accomplishment, stress relief, a sense of purpose and meaning, and a sense of safety through control and predictability.
Here are some ideas for activities that will help meet these needs, reduce cravings, help with recovery from addiction, and fill some of the hours freed from compulsive gaming.
Please don’t let the length of this list overwhelm you. The idea is not to start ten new things and try to change everything all at once. We seek small bits of progress, not perfection. A good place to start is to put first things first. What need is currently most important? What’s right in front of me? What opportunity has come my way recently? If we take steps of small improvement with one or two areas each day, we are moving in the right direction.
Stress Relief
Talking with a sponsor or recovery buddy, CGAA meetings, or step work
Getting outside for fresh air and sunlight by taking a walk or doing some outdoor work
Meditation, coloring, craft work, journaling, or reading
Sense of safety through freedom, control, and predictability
Goal setting
Counseling or psychotherapy
Home organization, renovation, or spring cleaning
Sense of purpose, meaning, and self-respect
Supporting and growing the larger CGAA fellowship through service work like helping run a meeting, starting a local meeting, doing outreach to professionals, or attending CGAA business meetings
Attending a spiritual group like meditation, yoga, spiritual retreat, or religious gathering
Doing volunteer work like teaching, helping others, animal care, or building community places
Caring for a pet, house plants, or garden
Social needs
Attending CGAA meetings, connecting outside of meetings, reaching out to newcomers, or calling someone
Joining a hobby group like theater, a hiking group, art workshop, book club, public speaking, board games or card game group
Hosting a fun event like board games night or karaoke
Playing team sports, taking up martial arts, or playing one-on-one sports
Going to fun events like concerts, dances, or events on meetup.com
Calling up, video conferencing, or visiting with friends, family, neighbors, or other communities
Self expression and creativity
Journaling, opening up to a CGAA sponsor, or sharing openly in a meeting
Art work like drawing, photography, sculpting, or creative writing
Performance art like theater, singing, playing music, or writing music
Sense of challenge and accomplishment
Working the steps with a sponsor
Crafts like woodworking, origami, knitting
Outdoor activities like gardening, geocaching, bird watching, star gazing, tracking, plant identification, survival skills, or boating
Learning something like a foreign language, dancing, magic tricks, mechanical repair, cooking, a musical instrument, or computer programming
Career goals like getting a new job, starting a business, enrolling in school, or taking classes
Reconnection to one’s body and whole self
Meditating on breath, sounds, or bodily sensations
Exercise like walking, hiking, swimming, cycling, yoga, jogging, going to a gym, or playing a sport
If you are in your first week or two off of games, it’s likely that few of these ideas will appeal to you. That’s normal. Until our minds and bodies have some time to heal, we have low interest, energy, and motivation. This list will probably not give you something that you can plug in place of video games and immediately throw yourself into with the same zeal. This list is meant to help us explore new ways of spending our time, meeting our needs, and connecting with people. Find a few that hold some appeal and try taking some small steps in their direction. If you can’t seem to think of anything fun to do except game, you can come back to this list, find the most appealing thing, and just take a couple of little steps in its direction.
Consider setting reminders for yourself or keeping a schedule of your time and new activities. It is important to appreciate the small victories of exercising willpower, regaining motivation, and socializing. It helps to discuss our progress and the challenges we experience with a CGAA sponsor, recovery buddy, personal counselor, or therapist.
Rediscovering What is Fun
It is normal to think that nothing but gaming sounds fun. For most of us, our years of compulsive gaming warped and narrowed our idea of fun. As small children, it meant almost anything new or interesting or social or even mildly rewarding. Years of pulling the dopamine lever with video games changed our concept of fun to require instant gratification, frequent rewards, clear and constant progress, excitement, intense visuals, control, and/or predictability.
Part of recovery is letting our concept of fun expand back outward to a wide world of possible new challenges and experiences, many of which are calm and subtle compared to video games. It takes time to overcome withdrawals and heal from the damage, but the change does happen if we abstain from all gaming long term and focus on new pursuits and improving our lives. This list has many activities that do not meet the old, narrow, warped idea of “fun,” but those of us who persist at exploring them do find many to be gratifying and enjoyable.
Take, for example, a hike up a mountain. To a group of hikers excited to venture into the wilderness with friends and see wildlife and panoramic views from on high, all while getting a great workout, it’s a ton of fun. To someone who is uninterested in hiking, out of shape, and focused on every little unpleasant aspect of it, it’s a torturous death march. It is exactly the same hike in either case. The difference is in the attitude and conditioning.
The same is true with every item of these lists. Whether or not an activity sounds fun or torturous depends entirely upon attitude and conditioning. Every one of them has the potential to be gratifying and enjoyable if we adopt a positive attitude, try to have fun, and persist at it, especially when we involve friends and like-minded people.
Helpful fellowships and resources
While CGAA does not endorse and is not officially connected with the following groups, we believe that friends and family may be able to connect with others and find helpful resources. They can provide guidance on dealing with addiction in general, on healing from its effects, and on how to go about building a recovery fellowship. Meetings are available in many places. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA each has its own recovery literature.
The Gamer-Anon fellowship is for parents, spouses, and other family to support each other in dealing with compulsive video gaming within the family.
The Al-Anon fellowship has existed since 1951 for the family and friends of alcoholics. As the oldest and most well attended of the fellowships for family and friends, its members have a wide breadth and depth of experience to share on living with addicts and healing from the ill effects and dysfunctional patterns.
The Nar-Anon fellowship has existed since 1968 for the family and friends of those suffering from addiction.
Co-Dependents Anonymous has existed since 1986 and is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.
CL – Cancer Lifeline – Line, Chat, and Virtual Groups – Weekdays
@ Online
Our cancer support groups are designed to meet four key needs:
* Members have a place where emotions can be expressed and not judged
* Members gain a sense of community & inclusion with others in a similar situation
* Members find ways in which choice & control can be attained while living with cancer
* Members are provided with opportunities for education and information
While we are online, please note that our Support Group Norms require participation by both video and audio unless you have been granted an exception by Cancer Lifeline. To inquire about an exception, please call (206) 832-1271.
This group is in e-mail format. Participants send and receive e-mail to take part in discussions. You can receive your posts all together, in one delivery each day, or you can receive them one-by-one, as they are sent.
The choice is yours. It’s fun, easy, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To join, complete the form below and click the submit button.
Subscribe to Caregiver-Online
You can subscribe to Caregiver-online by following this link and completing the form. After completing the Subscription form you will email requesting confirmation, to prevent others from gratuitously subscribing you. This is a hidden list, which means that the list of members is available only to the list administrator.
To subscribe, Use this Link and complete the subscription form online:
LGBT Community Support: Caregiving for our Families and Friends
Email Support Group 24/7
Would you like to talk with other caregivers? To join an online community to share experience, ideas and strategies? Ask for support during a difficult moment? Help someone solve a problem? Then subscribe to Family Caregiver Alliance’s Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender Community Support: Caregiving for our Families and Friends.
This group is in e-mail format. Participants send and receive e-mail to take part in discussions. You can receive your posts all together, in one delivery each day, or you can receive them one-by-one, as they are sent.
The choice is yours. It’s fun, easy, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To join, complete the form below and click the submit button.
Subscribe to Caregiver-Online
You can subscribe to Caregiver-online by following this link and completing the form. After completing the Subscription form you will email requesting confirmation, to prevent others from gratuitously subscribing you. This is a hidden list, which means that the list of members is available only to the list administrator.
LGBT Community Support: Caregiving for our Families and Friends
Email Support Group 24/7
Would you like to talk with other caregivers? To join an online community to share experience, ideas and strategies? Ask for support during a difficult moment? Help someone solve a problem? Then subscribe to Family Caregiver Alliance’s Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender Community Support: Caregiving for our Families and Friends.
This group is in e-mail format. Participants send and receive e-mail to take part in discussions. You can receive your posts all together, in one delivery each day, or you can receive them one-by-one, as they are sent.
The choice is yours. It’s fun, easy, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To join, complete the form below and click the submit button.
Subscribe to Caregiver-Online
You can subscribe to Caregiver-online by following this link and completing the form. After completing the Subscription form you will email requesting confirmation, to prevent others from gratuitously subscribing you. This is a hidden list, which means that the list of members is available only to the list administrator.
Hotline – Boys Town National Hot Line – A 24/7 crisis, resource and referral number for kids and parents – 1-800-448-3000 – Text VOICE to 20121
@ Phone
Online Child Abuse Survivors Forums and Live Chat Room
isurvive is all about the members. Our collective aim is to offer support to each other from our hearts and through our experiences.
After you have completed our automated registration process to become a member (visit the forum for the registration link), you will be contacted by one of our Admin Team who will guide you through the final steps. We make every effort to ensure that those joining are fully aware of our guidelines and to be on hand to help ease their way into our community.
We have 8 parent forums:
General Discussion
Survivors
Addictions, Self-Harm and Unhealthy Coping Strategies (hidden to non-members)
Breaking the Cycle
Self-Care Center
Family, Friends and Relationships
Lighthearted and Off Topic
Creative Corner and Art Gallery
In addition to select sub-forums which are open for reading, you will gain access to the following supplementary ones by becoming a member of isurvive:
Our Stories
The stories of who we are and of our lives
Survivors of Incest and Sexual Abuse
Discussion area specifically for childhood sexual abuse survivors
Survivors of Ritualized Abuse
Discussion area for survivors whose child abuse was organized, repetitive, secretive, ritualized and/or torture based. Some topics include healing from the abuse caused by cults, religious or spiritual groups, torture-based systematic abuse, mind control, pornography rings, sex trafficking and child prostitution
Survivors with Dissociative Disorders or PTSD
Discussion area for survivors who live daily with PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder. Opportunities to discuss how these conditions impact their lives as well as being a place to gain support, share experiences and offer ideas for managing the symptoms and difficulties that arise. Some topics of discussion include: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Dissociative Amnesia (DA), Dissociative Disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS), Depersonalization and Derealization Disorder
Dissociative Youth Forum
Safe discussion areas for dissociative younger parts to share, discuss and seek support as they heal, live and manage daily life
Male Survivors of Child Abuse, Incest and Sexual Abuse
A discussion and support area for male survivors of all types of child abuse
Contact with Past Abusers/Enablers Discussion area for issues that arise when contact from abusers or enablers is made. It also is a place to write letters to abusers/enablers to help process feelings and thoughts
Survivors Living/Having a Relationship With Their Abusers Discussion area for those who choose to remain in contact or are still living with their abusers/enablers. This is an area where discussions can be held free from any pressures to change your circumstances
Survivors with Addictions, Dependence or Compulsions A forum for adult child abuse survivors dealing with unhealthy behaviour patterns, trapped in an addictive cycle or struggling to break free from compulsive coping methods. Difficulties and healing regarding self-harm, substance abuse, eating disorders, OCD, hoarding, gambling and other similar behaviours can be discussed here
Relationships A discussion area for processing intimacy and relationship difficulties and sharing healing experiences
Parenting Trials and Tribulations This is a place for all parents/carers to share difficulties and achievements which may arise while dealing with their own healing
We also have a chat room, to which you can request access following a minimum of 2 weeks’ active participation on the forums.
Here you can seek support via real time connection through real time interactions.
Once inside the chat room, you will see a list of the members currently online. To chat, users type a message into a text box. The message is almost immediately visible in the larger communal message area, and other users respond.
Please know that, as a team, we are here to help and can be contacted at any time as follows:
Master JianFeng Chen is from the Fujian province of China. Inspired by his teachers and experiences, he wanted to bring traditional training of internal/external martial arts to the people of America. In China, martial arts is deeply imbedded in everyday life. Energy work, through Qigong and Tai Chi are often not stressed enough, so the full benefits of practice are not realized. His goal is to bring awareness of your breath, your energy, your movements and how it affects yourself and others so everyone can achieve balance and thus happiness and health in their lives.At the age of 8, JianFeng, joined the Junior Athletic School of Zhangzhou to begin his formal martial arts training. At the age of 11, he was selected to join the Fujian State Athletic Wushu Unit, that is internationally renowned for winning championships, especially in Tai Chi. His teachers were Grand Masters and World Champions in Tai Chi and Wushu.
Observance – National Mental Illness Awareness Week – Oct 1st to 7th – SAMHSA – Resources – Informaiton – Assitance
Fact: Mental health issues can affect anyone. In 2020, about:
One in 5 American adults experienced a mental health condition in a given year
One in 6 young people have experienced a major depressive episode
One in 20 Americans have lived with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression
Additionally, suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States. In fact, it was the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-24. Suicide has accounted for the loss of more than 45,979 American lives in 2020, nearly double the number of lives lost to homicide.
Myth: Children don’t experience mental health issues.
Fact: Even very young children may show early warning signs of mental health concerns. These mental health conditions are often clinically diagnosable and can be a product of the interaction of biological, psychological, and social factors.
Half of all mental health disorders show first signs before a person turns 14-years-old, and three-quarters of mental health disorders begin before age 24.
Unfortunately, only half of children and adolescents with diagnosable mental health conditions receive the treatment they need. Early mental health support can help a child before problems interfere with other developmental needs.
Myth: People with mental health conditions are violent.
Fact: Most people with mental health conditions are no more likely to be violent than anyone else.
Only 3%–5% of violent acts can be attributed to individuals living with a serious mental illness. In fact, people with severe mental illnesses are over 10 times more likely to be victims of a violent crime than the general population. You probably know someone with a mental health condition and don’t even realize it, because many people with mental health conditions are highly active and productive members of our communities.
Myth: People with mental health needs, even those who are managing their mental health conditions, cannot tolerate the stress of holding down a job.
Fact:People with mental health conditions can be just as productive as other employees, especially when they are able to manage their mental health condition well. Employers often do not know if someone has a mental health condition, but if the condition is known to the employer, they often report good attendance and punctuality as well as motivation, good work, and job tenure on par with, or greater than, other employees.
Myth: Mental health issues are a result of personality weakness or character flaws, and people can “snap out of it” if they try hard enough.
Fact: Mental health conditions have nothing to do with being lazy or weak and many people need help to get better. Many factors contribute to mental health conditions, including:
Biological factors, such as genes, physical illness, injury, or brain chemistry
Life experiences, such as trauma or a history of abuse
Family history of mental health conditions
People with mental health conditions can get better and many seek recovery support.
Myth: There is no hope for people with mental health issues. Once a friend or family member develops a mental health condition, they will never recover.
Fact: Studies show that people with mental health conditions get better and many are on a path to recovery. Recovery refers to the process in which people can live, work, learn, and participate fully in their communities. There are more treatments, services, and community support systems than ever before, and they work:
Myth: Therapy and self-help are a waste of time. Why bother when you can just take a pill?
Fact:Treatment for mental health conditions vary depending on the individual and could include medication, therapy, or both. Many individuals do best when they work with a support system during the healing and recovery process.
Myth: I can’t do anything for a person with a mental health issue.
Fact: Friends and loved ones can make a big difference. In 2020, only 20% of adults received any mental health treatment in the past year, which included 10% who received counseling or therapy from a professional. Friends and family can be important influences to help someone get the treatment and services they need by:
Reaching out and letting them know you are available to help
Learning and sharing facts about mental health, especially if you hear something that isn’t true
Treating them with respect, just as you would anyone else
Refusing to define them by their diagnosis or using labels such as “crazy”, instead use person-first language
Myth: It is impossible to prevent a mental health condition.
Fact: Prevention of mental, emotional, and behavioral disorders focuses on addressing known risk factors, such as exposure to trauma, that can affect the chances that children, youth, and young adults will develop mental health conditions. Promoting a person’s social-emotional well-being leads to:
Higher overall productivity
Better educational outcomes
Lower crime rates
Stronger economies
Improved quality of life
Increased lifespan
Improved family life
RESOURCES FOR SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS
Despite common misperceptions, having an SMI is not a choice, a weakness, or a character flaw. It is not something that just “passes” or can be “snapped out of” with willpower. The specific causes are unknown, but various factors can increase someone’s risk for mental illness including, family history, brain chemistry, and significant life events such as experiencing a trauma or death of a loved one.
Treatment works. SAMHSA can help you find it.
Effective treatments for serious mental illnesses are available in your area. The earlier that you begin treatment, the greater likelihood of a better outcome. For confidential and anonymous help finding a specialty program near you, visit SAMHSA’s Early Serious Mental Illness Treatment Locator.
If you have been diagnosed and are receiving treatment for a serious mental illness, but moved to a new location, help is available. Use SAMHSA’s FindTreatment.gov to locate a new program.
Maternal Depression Support Groups and Educational Resources
On-line
Peer Support Groups & More! Postpartum
Support International (PSI) Weekly Support Groups: PSI facilitates a wide variety of postpartum support groups every week for diverse populations, and all family members.
PSI also staffs a non-emergency helpline for education and support: The number is 1-800-944-4773. PSI also offers a free peer mentor program where Mons or Dads can work 1-1 with a peer mentor once per week for up to 6 months.
Link to webpage for specific support groups, dates and times:
Free peer support groups and discussion forums, moderated by, “Well Mama,” for mothers and families on a wide variety of topics related to pregnancy and postpartum mental health.
People grieving a death often feel like no one understands what they’re going through. And truthfully, no one’s grief is exactly same. But people tell us the help they appreciate most comes from sharing with others who are also grieving a death.
Our children’s support groups are designed around age, type of death, and the connection to the person who died. Parent/adult caregiver groups run at the same time as the children’s support groups. Around 500 children and 350 adult family members come to our groups each month. Each person decides how long he or she wants to be at The Dougy Center.
In the groups, there is no right or wrong way to be. Nobody will tell you it’s time to move on. Or that an emotion you have is wrong or inappropriate. Here, through talking and listening, you’re free to find hope and comfort in your own personal way. Children can express themselves through play, music, art, games, and sharing.
Our unique approach, using peer group support to help people discover their own way through grief, has made The Dougy Center a worldwide leader in the field. More than 500 programs based on our model now thrive in the U.S., Canada, Africa, Australia, Europe and Japan. Our guidebooks assist parents, schools and others who deal with children affected by death, and our children’s activity books provide them an outlet for expression.
In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, The Dougy Center is hosting virtual support groups for our bereavement and Pathways programs. If your family lives in the Portland metro area and would like to participate, please call 503.775.5683 or email help@dougy.org.
At The Dougy Center we realize that:
Grief is a natural reaction to death;
Each individual has a natural capacity to heal from loss;
Duration and intensity of grief are unique to each individual; and
Caring and acceptance assist in the healing process.
Orientation lasts approximately one hour. During that time, adults and children/teens are broken into separate groups where we explain the program. Questions are answered, and everyone is given a tour. Children and teens watch a Dougy Center video produced by the TV program 20/20. The adults learn about how to have a child or teen begin participation at the Center and receive all the application forms. Coming to an orientation does not mean the child/teen becomes a participant. We encourage the adults to allow the children and teens to make the final decision for themselves.
LYGHT Groups – Listening and Led by Youth in Foster Care: Grief, Hope, and Transitions
At the core of the L.Y.G.H.T. program, we aim to raise awareness about how grieving youth in foster care experience marginalization on various levels, create ways to provide trauma-informed peer support to youth in foster care, and promote the importance of moving the child welfare community toward a grief-informed holistic model of care.
“It helps you to feel like you are not alone. They are also going through something as well and you can help each other.” – L.Y.G.H.T. program participant
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Ectopic Pregnancy Support Groups
If you have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or ectopic pregnancy and need an extra source of support, or if you wish to do something to help further miscarriage awareness, there is help out there. A number of nonprofit organizations around the world aim to spread awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and offer support services. Some are regional in focus but others have a national and even international reach. The following is a list of some of the major pregnancy loss awareness organizations.
Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
Steve Debenport/E+/Getty Images
Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support was established in 1977 and has been active in numerous pregnancy loss advocacy and awareness activities including everything from promoting the rights of parents to bury their miscarried babies, to organizing support groups around the nation. The organization’s website contains a collection of support resources as well as a list of regional support groups. If no support group is in your area, Share can also advise you on how to start one
March of Dimes
The March of Dimes is one of the most well-known and well-established organizations focusing on pregnancy health. March of Dimes has a lot of information on the causes and possible prevention of premature birth, a leading cause of infant death, and it is involved in numerous advocacy efforts to drive research into ways to prevent birth defects and infant death.
As a start, every woman who is pregnant should be aware of the risk factors for premature birth as well as the signs and symptoms of premature labor.1
International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA)
The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA) is a coalition of stillbirth awareness groups and organizations that work to promote stillbirth research and awareness of stillbirth. The group offers support resources for parents as well as information about ongoing research into stillbirth.
The Miscarriage Association
The Miscarriage Association is a UK-based support association that offers many resources to help families cope with miscarriage and to spread awareness of miscarriage. They use the general term miscarriage but include support for those who have had an ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy as well. The group has a network of support volunteers who can lend a listening ear
The miscarriage association also provides information to help people better understand everything from the tests done to look for a miscarriage, to information on “trying again” after your loss.
Sands
Sands stands for Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support. This group is based in the UK, but Sands has chapters in countries around the world. The group offers support to all individuals affected by stillbirth or loss of a newborn infant, and its website includes information on local groups and advocacy opportunities.
Sands also recognizes the importance of bereavement care,2 which has, unfortunately, been addressed to a less degree than the symptoms and treatment of pregnancy loss.
The Compassionate Friends
The Compassionate Friends (TCF) is not exclusively focused on pregnancy loss but focuses on providing support for bereaved families who are grieving the death of a child. The group does offer information and support for pregnancy loss of any kind.
MISS Foundation
The MISS Foundation focuses on crisis support and other aid to families grieving the loss of a child. The group is not exclusively focused on pregnancy loss but is involved in a lot of activities related to miscarriage and stillbirth awareness, such as the MISSing Angels Bills that have been considered or passed in many U.S. states with the idea of granting parents the right to receive a state-issued certificate of stillbirth recognizing the loss of a baby to stillbirth.
Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB)
The Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB) offers support to parents who have lost babies in multiple pregnancies, including those who have lost all babies in the pregnancy as well as those who have lost one twin.
The site offers fact sheets aimed at dads, grandparents, siblings, and survivors as well as information about research into this type of pregnancy loss.
Helping After Neonatal Death (HAND)
Helping After Neonatal Death (HAND) is a California support group for late pregnancy loss and neonatal loss. Its website features fact sheets and information about local groups in northern California. The group also offers two in-person support groups as well as phone support for grieving parents.
Even if you are not a California native, the HAND website provides support, including letters addressed to parents, friends , and family, and even health care professionals who are facing the grief which accompanies stillbirth and neonatal death.
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust is a group sponsored by London’s King College Hospital. The website has information on the causes and treatment of ectopic pregnancy, as well as support forums. The group supports research into early diagnosis of ectopic pregnancy and means of prevention.
The website (of course, easily accessible to those outside the UK) has abundant resources with information on a number of topics surrounding ectopic pregnancy. It even has information for dad’s and ectopic pregnancy, recognizing the difficulties faced by those who are “so close but yet so far.”3
Tommy’s
Tommy’s functions as something of a UK-based March of Dimes equivalent. The group has information on how to have a healthy pregnancy and prevent any preventable stillbirths or preterm births. The group also supports research on miscarriage prevention and causes.
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